I can’t believe I’m here, and my little guy is over 20 months old. 20 months. Over that time, I can’t believe how much I thought I would have gotten done, how much more I thought I’d work. How much I more I wanted to blog. How much better I thought I would have been at cooking, at fitting in my work and my workouts.
I have found myself going and going until about 6 or 7pm each day, when I simply stop, and reflect. I get him out of the tub and wrestle him relentlessly to put on his pajamas. Sometimes, I question myself and a few things I did that day.
Did I let him have too much screen time? Maybe I should have spent less time on my phone and more time with him. I probably should have taken more time for myself. I should have rested more while he napped. Or maybe should have gotten more done while he napped…?
Then we close the shades, close the door. We dim the lights and pick out his books. And every night since the day he was born (“Good night comb, goodnight brush…”), I think to myself, “We did it, we made it through another day.” Another day that sometimes felt long. Another day that sort of flew by. It’s one more blessing that I get to spend a day with this little angel. Another day that might have been harder than I imagined.
Motherhood is so eff’d up. It’s so incredible. It’s so rewarding. It’s constantly forcing us to grow. To test us, to be more patient and more flexible. It teaches us lessons about ourselves and about how we treat others. It’s so hard.
But we did it, one more day. And it is going by fast. We got through that day and we made memories. We are growing together and learning as we go. And you’re doing it too, Mama. Trust that what you are doing is what you are meant to do. That when you became a mother, you had inside you all that it takes, because that little one chose you to share this life together. And we all are doing and being what we are meant to be.